An Abortion Story–well, sort of but not really

“We now know when life begins because the test-tube baby proves that life begins with conception. What do you have in the dish? An egg and a sperm. What do you add to it to get a baby? Nothing.” (Former Surgeon General Dr. C. Everett Koop)

Today, on the 42nd anniversary of the Roe vs. Wade decision to legalize abortion, I don’t want to get into an argument about this controversial issue. But since it is a subject I am intensely interested in, I feel the need to speak out–in love always.

Last night at the church I pastor, The Well, we studied the Biblical view of when life begins. We concluded that the Bible leaves no doubt on this subject. Of course, we read the typical Scriptures in Isaiah and Jeremiah; both of these men of God wrote that God had ordained them to be prophets in their mothers’ wombs, and yea, even BEFORE conception.

“Before I was born the Lord called me; from my mother’s womb he has spoken my name. . .” Isaiah 49:1

“Then the word of the Lord came unto me, saying, 5 Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.” Jeremiah 1: 4-5

Once I got home from church, got the kids in bed and kicked my feet up on the reclining couch, I had some down-time to really ponder the aforementioned verses. They reminded me of my own experience with pregnancy in the case of my third-born child, Elijah Blue. If I was even tempted to accept the idea that life does not begin at conception, what happened to me in that pregnancy would convince me otherwise.

Those two little daughters who were also appointed and anointed of the Lord!

You see, back then, I had gone through a long stretch of infertility. Although I already had two healthy, beautiful daughters, I did not feel complete in my childbearing experience. So every month when the evidence came that I was not pregnant, I would weep in utter discouragement–year after year.

One night in the fall of 1994, I was at my church during a particularly anointed service. As the congregation sang, “Look What the Lord Has Done,” I was praising the Lord with abandon–not even thinking of my troubles or anything negative. Suddenly, I heard the Lord’s voice clearly. He simply said, “Look what I have done.” It was so shocking that I stopped singing abruptly and stood stock-still. I knew that He was talking about my childbearing situation.

A bit puzzled, I looked down at my young daughters sitting on the pew and thought, “Oh, okay–He’s telling me to be content with the children I have.” But immediately that thought was supernaturally struck down, and everything became as clear as Waterford crystal to my amazed mind.

He was telling me I would bear another child.

I know what you’re thinking: He used past tense in His Word to me. Yes, He did. But without a doubt, I knew He was instructing me to stop worrying and trust Him, because to Him–it was already done. He doesn’t exist in time as we do. He sees the future as if it’s already “a done deal.” I was to change my attitude and begin to praise Him for the coming baby because it was already COMPLETED in His mind.

Oh, the rapture that hit me at that moment of revelation! I began to weep with joy and praise Him with a heart of thanksgiving. It didn’t matter that I didn’t get pregnant the next month or the next or the next. No more tears every 28 days. God’s promises are “yea and amen.”

About six months later, I went back to my bedroom for a time of prayer. My “prayer closet” was behind my door at the heat duct so I could be warm in winter. Although this was a spring day, still I knelt behind that closed door out of habit. After a short time of prayer, suddenly I had an experience that I had never had before and have never had since. Out of the blue, a strong anointing flowed through my being as though it were warm, soothing oil. My entire body went tinglingly, numbingly aglow. (I can’t explain the feeling of pinpricks of glowing anointing all over me; I have felt the anointing many times since then, but never again like that.)

Immediately, I knew I was pregnant. No audible voice, no still, small voice–just an unshakeable inner knowledge. I had had no clue–no missed menstrual cycle or symptoms. The 28th day of my cycle wasn’t even close yet. But I knew that I knew that I knew that I was with child.

As I basked and almost dared not breathe in that “glow,” I at last heard God’s voice down deep within. He asked me if I was willing to bear a son (yes, the sex was specified) that would have a very special call of God on his life. Without even thinking, I cried out, “YES!”–weeping with joy.

Elijah Blue has arrived!

Sure enough, I was a few weeks pregnant with Elijah at that time but hadn’t even considered the possibility nor suspected it when I innocently knelt to pray that day. He was born December 17, 1995, and was, from the first, very cognizant of the Spirit of the Lord. Still, I pretty much kept my mouth shut about what had happened during that spring prayer session. I wanted Elijah to exercise his free will, as to his walk with God. I didn’t want to influence him in any way.

In other words, I didn’t want to affect what God could do very well without me.

So although I did train Elijah up in the Word and in prayer, at the same time he grew up as any other normal kid–sports, schooling, dance classes, youth groups. As a homeschool mom, I also prepped him for the typical educational path–do college-prep classes, take the SAT, win a scholarship if possible, go four years to a university, get a good job, live a good life. I even offered to send him to public high school so he could have a better chance in the sports world, but he made the decision to stay at home.

In the past year, my son has begun to move more and more in the power and anointing of God. With some hesitation (fearing my disappointment), he recently confessed to me that he doesn’t necessarily feel he is supposed to attend a typical four-year university. He instinctively and urgently feels a different path for his life–a headlong commitment to Christian ministry/service.

I’m embarrassed to say that when he first told me, my pride rose up, tempting me to urge him to go the normal route that he had been educated in preparation for. How would he succeed in life without that college degree? Were all of those years of pushing the college-prep agenda wasted? Wouldn’t he make such a great leader on a college campus? What if he could walk on to play baseball for a college team?

Elijah opening up the STOKES STOKED Youth Rally at Lions Park in Walnut Cove on Aug. 30, 2014.

But before I opened my mouth to say a word, my gut instincts kicked in. They reminded me of that day long ago in my prayer closet. Hadn’t I known all along deep down that he wouldn’t take the well-worn path but rather the one less traveled by? Didn’t I feel with absolute certainty in my spirit that he was absolutely correct about what he was feeling?

Elijah and I on the evening of his induction into the NC 4-H Honor Club.

Elijah and I, with our friend James, getting ready for the opening blast of the STOKED STOKED Youth Rally on Aug. 30, 2014.

I have thus had to say, “God’s will be done.” And now an intense joy fills my heart each time I think of my son working side by side with me in my hometown of Walnut Cove, as he has indicated he feels to do.

So what does this have to do with abortion? It has a lot to do with the “uncertainty” of when life begins–a critical component of the abortion argument.

The evidence is clear now that God indeed ordained this path for Elijah even before he was formed in my womb. God told me he was coming six months before he was conceived. God told me he was in my womb when he was probably too small to be seen with the naked eye. God told me what his future held–a call to minister. So I cannot believe that the egg/sperm mixture in a womb is a “fetus” that we can choose to either keep or terminate; it is a living child already.

If you don’t subscribe to the Bible, this probably sounds like baloney to you. I understand that. I truly love you just the same because I don’t get mad at people who don’t agree with me; how un-Christian is that?

But if you DO have a Biblical worldview, please consider my point. When I was two weeks pregnant, Elijah was NOT just a nonviable mass that I could choose to have suctioned out of me with an electric vacuum pump if I felt I couldn’t handle a third child. If God was already telling me what Elijah was predestined to do, then that two-week-old “mass” floating around in my uterus was already a PERSON with a future and potential.

Based on my experience, as well as the Bible, I have no doubt of one critical fact in the abortion argument:

Life begins at conception, although in the mind of God, it actually starts BEFORE THAT.

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. . .My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” Psalm 139:13-16